Little things- 2

Ok. So I was at my bestfriend's place, and I got this call from a friend of mine, asking about the sleepover and the whole day and everything. So I told him everything. Starting with basket ball to the puchka competition and how I met this new guy and everything else. When suddenly he is like, "acha bye!" So I was like, "arre what just happened?". His reply,
"I can't stand to see you with some other guy."
I asked, why. All he said was,
"I don't know, but I just can't."

Sometimes feeling something so sweet, true and honest even when you don't know the reason behind it, get's a smile on the other's face. :)

Little things- 1

Ok. So I have this friend of mine. I keep telling him how my brother hits me sometimes out of no reason and it's just not fair. So today, that friend of mine came home. He was like, "Is your brother there at your place?", I replied "He is. Why?". He replied, " tell him to go away or else I will hit him!". I was whaaaat? WHY?
Guess what he replied?

" Because he hits you!" :')

It's things like these which matter the most and always manage to get a smile on the other's face. :)

The girl in me who talks a lot.

Well, I am hearing things a lot lately. Things like, why do you always post about love and sad things? And honestly, I am sick of them too. :P
It's the IPL season and every friend of mine has been made sure to go to Eden Gardens and tease me about it. The truth is, I have never been to Eden Gardens. Yes. Living in Kolkata for 15 years now, but not once experienced that nirvana feeling when Gambhir hits a 6, and the crowd goes KKR! : |
I just got my new obsession jellies. Yumm! Green, red, yellow, orange and even blue. I have had all kinds of jellies till now, I guess. And they are amaaaazing!
I love singing and dancing while having a bath. I remember singing "Aami je tomar, sudhu je tumaar", and trying to dance like Vidya Balan seven years ago, and ended up falling down and getting eight stiches on my chin. Darn, that did hurt! :p
I love seeing PDA on road and then making fun of it while talking to my bestfriend. That girl, makes my life miserable in a funny manner. :)
I always have puchka with meetha pani and I love how bengalis call  puChka, "puShka".
I love giving names to people. I just don't why, but I do. Stoner, Blondie, Hotstuff, Janeman, Godzilla, and what NOT! My friends literally hide their face when I call them such names in public. I am perverted. And yes, I have a boy's mind.
There are tons of things about me, which I would love to share but I don't want to make this post long so that you people get tired of it, and wonder how irritating I am. :p

Anyway. Bye- bye. May you all enjoy your summers while I bury my head in my Maths book. -___-

Addiction.

She goes to tell her balcony. It's raining.
She is holding a picture in her hand. Of them. Happy, smiling and way too much in love.
But now, things are different. There aren't hugs now, or I love you's or those out of nowhere kisses. It's just her. Alone. It's hard to believe it's over, but the truth remains the same. No glasses of whisky or boxes of cigarettes, could change the truth. He was gone. And now it was time to accept it.
A lot of tears had been shed, a lot of phone calls had been made, a lot of I miss you texts had been sent, but now it was time to accept the truth. It was love, in the beginning, which changed to want and now it was just an addiction, which she had to get rid of.
Few raindrops fall on her cheeks, and so does her tear drops. She realised it was just her wanting, maybe. She was used to him. His phone calls, his texts, and everything related to him was a weakness for her. But she wasn't going to be weak anymore. This addiction had to stop.
She looked at the photograph and tore it, although the memory will remain somewhere in her heart, but it was a start.
A start to letting go of things. A start to stop her addiction.

But.

I have this feeling inside of me. This part of me which wants to shout, scream, and protest for what I deserve. I don't deserve all this. But in the end, it did happen to me. I am tired of listening to people, telling me to give it some time and wait. I can no longer wait. I am a human after all. Being impatient at this moment of my life is acceptable. I am tired of pretending that I've moved on and I am fine. Because I am not. I am stuck. I have started questioning myself. Now that I know, all the things which weren't said to me. Now that I know, "we" never mattered to you. I have started having doubts. I have started wondering, whether I fell in love with the wrong person?!
I know, I have to be strong. I have my entire life left. But at this moment, I'm hopeless.
I have heard many stories about other people. What's going on in their life. How tough the situation is for them. How happy they are at the moment. But it's been a while. While, since I actually smiled at a happy moment of my life. You know that smile. That genuine one. Where you feel the exact joy which you are experiencing. I am not cribbing about my life. Or maybe I am.
I tried everything, to try to get him back but he just doesn't want to. So that means, it's my time to move on. But.

How can I move on when I'm still in love with you? 

Live.

Nostalgia. I feel it. I dream it. I am it.
I am away. Away from everything. And I live it. Behind the door of darkness, lies a path. A path towards, Insanity. This insanity takes me into a new world. World of forgetfulness. Not a single thing on my mind.
Perfection lies within us. All we have to do is have the courage to take a step towards it. Hear the beats of your own life. The rhythm it plays, and dance with it. Take a turn, spin around, lose yourself into insanity. Drop those problems for a minute and just listen to the music and dance with it. Cowards forget how beautiful life is. They don't take the step towards that particular feeling, which takes us to paradise.
Paradise. For me a place between silence and nostalgia. People are busy thinking what they have to do tomorrow, and for that stupidity, they forget to live today.
Live through the pain. Live through every moment.

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

That's how it's for me. I lived through it. My past. I'm living it. Insanity.
In the end what matters is, Memories. Moments and Us.

Lameness Personified!

I am scared of things now. Scared, someday, somewhere, I will lose everything. I have already lost most of it. I am scared, to talk to people. I don't want to hurt them in any way. I am scared they will leave me if I do so. I am scared to get out of my room. I don't want to, actually. I have made my own world in there. I buy cigarettes secretly and smoke them in my balcony. I sleep most of the time, or stare at my laptop screen. But when I do get out of my room, the only place I go to, is my terrace. I have this fixed place up there. I sit on the tank of my building. Verrrrry high. It's like paradise for me. Alone, quiet, peaceful and then that smell of the smoke of a classic regular, surrounding you. Epic. A little movement and BAM, you will surely die or atleast break some bones. I love it.
I think. A lot. Everyone says so. :\
I love imagining or thinking things. So few days back, I was just sitting there and thinking of my life and everything in it. One question kept on distracting me.
Whom do I trust the most?
I really didn't know the answer to it. My parents, obviously. But apart from them? Not a single person or name could come to my mind. People usually hurt me very easily. I don't trust anyone. Actually, not even myself. I don't know when I can get so sick of my life and kill myself. So, nobody! :\
Anyway. So today, I was sitting there and smoking and suddenly, my phone started ringing. It was mom, she was asking me to come home. After couple of minutes, I got up, and my leg slipped, and I almost fell. And the first thing I did after getting back on my feet was to laugh my ass off. I was laughing like a maniac. Mad, I am!
Anyway, I am blabbering so much. :p

This is such a lame post! Anyway, bye! I should get myself admitted to one of those mental hospitals.
So bye bye.
Do smoke. Helps you, when you are in a bad mood. ( Mamata didi yeh mat dekhia ga ^_^ )