- Dear A -

(I have always wanted to give a letter like this to you) But I never gave it you because I always thought you probably will find it dumb. So I thought I will write it down.
There is nothing really special in this letter, but if you do want to, go ahead, read on.

Even after all the tough times we go through. We always manage to work things out. Just because you are the only person I trust my life with.

Dear A,
Yes, you. You are the most wonderful thing ever happened to me. I will always believe in anything you say or do. Because I know, there must be some reason behind it. I will trust even when the most greatest person of this world comes and tells me, you did a sin or something terrible. Because for me you are the only greatest person. "A", I have always wanted to tell you few things.  But I always thought all this stupid things won't matter to you. But I really can't just keep it within.

1. My days start with your phone call. You call me just when you get up and then say to me, " Gooood morning! Ab utho utho!"
      you don't know how much I adore it.
2. I will always be ready to meet you. ALWAYS.
3. I love how you hug me from behind.
4. Times when you slip the ring which you gave me from my index finger to the ring one, I am the most happiest person on earth.
5. I love that you secretly care and love your sister, a lot. Even when you try to be all stud type.
6. You are the only one I want to be with in my future. Basically I want to spend the rest of my life just with YOU.
7. I secretly dream about us married. :p
8. When you talk and tell me things(big big things which mean a lot to you) which you haven't said to anyone, I feel honoured.
9. I trust you more than I trust myself.
10. And now, one secret.
            ' When I die or something happens to me and I'm no more there, call my bestfriend, ask her about the secret box and where it is kept in my room, and look for all the letters addressed to you. Read all of them. They might be long sometimes. But please.'
Then only you will understand how important you are to me and how much I would love to be with you and only you, even if I get an opportunity to live my life once again.

P.S. I love you. I always have and I always will.
                                                                                           
                                                                                            - Yours A


I am cheesay. ;)
But honestly. This post means a lot to me. :)

I'm no superman.

No, I can't do this all on my own. No, I'm no, I'm no superman.

People have been giving me a tough time lately. Everyone around me hurts me in some way or the other. And all I can do is cry. Honestly, I am tired of explaining things to them. Tired of explaining how much it hurts when you lie to me. Why did you lie? You didn't have to. I would have understood the situation. You just had to tell me. You didn't have to hide things from me? You don't have to be this rude. Just because I love you, doesn't mean whatever you say won't hurt me. It fucking hurts.
I probably should stop talking to them. No, I can't. They are only ones whom I talk to you. I love socialising but these are the only ones whom I get along well. I am disappointed.
Mood swings are something which I hate. It's like a minute before how nice he is to me, and out of nowhere, he becomes this cold-blooded, rude, and obnoxious stranger. I ask him what's wrong? He says nothing, you won't  understand. Well hello! Have you even tried telling me? No, you jut out of nowhere got to the conclusion that I won't understand. How sick!
I don't want to be sad. Honestly. Even I don't want to write such depressing posts but there is nothing happy or good in my life. Not a thing. Atleast not now.
You probably must be thinking I'm a maniac. Maybe I am. I don't know.

All I know is I am hurt. I am disappointed and I have no one to go to, no one to talk to you, and them tell how pathetic it is to be me.

Insecure.

Something is wrong with her. ( she thinks ). She has never been possessive about anyone. But why him?
It's irritating if his ex comes online, she does not want him to talk to her, or those girls who flirt with him, pisses her off. Possessiveness is fine but over do it and it becomes a disaster. It probably means she doesn't trust him. But she does, she seriously does. Maybe it's just jealously, but regarding what? He is dating her now. Why do they matter?
She has lost it. Completely lost it.
They are going through a tough time. A really tough one, but then they have always managed to work things out. Always. But this possessiveness has been on her mind ever since she started dating him. It's been 8 and a half months. But still there.
She is insecure, she does show it, but never talks about it. Insecurity is something irritating. She has been through the same, in her previous relationship. Her ex was insecure, just like her. But she never really did care.
Then what's the matter now?
She promises herself, she will won't behave like this anymore. She loves him and trusts him.

She logs in from her account. Checks her notifications, and sees the chat list. She sees him and his ex online. She tries to ignore the thoughts coming on her mind. She sends a "hi" to him. He does not reply. Bigger thoughts start building up in her mind- What if he is talking to her? What are they talking about? Why is he talking to her?
She tries to ignore them. He still doesn't reply. She ends up sending him a text on his number- " Please don't talk to X." She regrets it the minute the delivery report flashes her mobile screen. But he still doesn't reply.
She ends up calling him, ( I told you she has lost it ) hears his voice and gives out a 'sigh' of relief. She asks him, why wasn't he replying on chat, he says he was listening to a song on another website, so he couldn't see the message. She asks him whether he saw her message on his phone, he says "no" and starts checking. After reading it he say,'' chill dude, chill!" and disconnects. She curses herself for doing what has been done.

She again promises herself, she won't do it. She trusts him. ( She doesn't trust herself on this one)