Friday, 6 April 2012


So we broke up. After 8 months and 21 days. Seems like a really long time. I don't know, how am I suppose to feel. I should be happy that he won't be hurting me anymore, or sad that he isn't there anymore. I think I am sad. He was my life. He still is. I still want to call him, cry my eyes out, speak my heart out, but I just can't. I still want to tell him, how much I still love him, and how much he still means to me, but I just can't.
I want him to be happy.
Maybe people are right, at this age, love can't last forever. I just dared to dream. And I pretty much got to know the results. Life is shitty. But why does it have to hurt me, ALWAYS? I guess, I deserved it. No one seemed to like me being happy. He was the only reason, why I smiled. He was the only reason why I got up every morning. ( And no, I am not making it dramatic )
I will be fine. I think.
I miss him already. It hasn't been 4 hours to our break up and here I am, literally on the verge of dying.
I guess he will never know, how much he still means to me, how I am still ready to forgive and forget everything, and get him back. But I think he doesn't want to either.
It really hurts. Right now, I am surrounded by all the memories of us. There isn't one place in my house, where I haven't shared moments with him. It's becoming hard to breathe.
I just got a text from him, " Are you hitting on anyone? "
I mean ARE you SERIOUS? Not even 4 hours, and he thinks I will hit on someone. He was my life. He is my life. I don't know when I am going to stop crying, right now, all I want is HIM. I want those fights, those little misunderstandings, those I love yous, those hugs, those eyes looking at me, those moments, I want all of them, back. People say, I will find someone better, I DON"T want anyone better. He was just fine. He was perfect for me. But I guess, I wasn't for him.

A, I love you. I always have and I always will. 


  1. You know what, from your posts I get the feeling that he does love you.. My guy loves me too... But the problem is -he doesn't love me the way I want to be loved. Love is really rare. The fact that your guy texted u does show that he is bothered by what u do.. think about it :)

    1. He doesn't. He stopped feeling for me quite back. Never confronted it, thinking I will do something stupid. I tried getting him back, doesn't want to. He thinks I don't understand him. Maybe I don't. It's alright. It's just that I miss him. A lot.